


we love a lot, so we only lose a little

by gaygoroakechi



Category: Persona 4, Persona Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Awkward, Breakfast in Bed, College AU, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Inaba (Persona Series), Internalized Homophobia, Love Confession, M/M, Snow, Snowmen, Souji goes back to the city but comes back to Inaba, feelings are complicated, fluff?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:33:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29724237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaygoroakechi/pseuds/gaygoroakechi
Summary: Yosuke makes Yu breakfast in bed on a snowy day after a long night of studying for midterms, and they build a snowman.
Relationships: Amagi Yukiko/Satonaka Chie (mentioned), Hanamura Yosuke/Narukami Yu, Hanamura Yosuke/Persona 4 Protagonist, Hanamura Yosuke/Seta Souji, SouYo
Kudos: 37





	we love a lot, so we only lose a little

**Author's Note:**

> i used one of those prompt generators and it gave me 'college au' and 'build a snowman together' so like, it sort of went from there and i finished writing it in like 2 hours today after writing a paragraph and leaving it for like 2 months

_Damn, it’s cold out,_ Yosuke thought as he mixed in the powder for the hot chocolate mix, shivering pathetically in his threadbare pajamas and fluffy socks. It was January, so of course it was cold, but at the same time he really wanted it to be warm again. It was dark inside the dorm room, it only being seven A.M. - Yu was still in bed. Well, hopefully he was. Yosuke wanted to surprise him with hot chocolate and some pancakes for breakfast… They’d both had a long week, since it was midterms week and as a result, they’d been hard at work studying. Even Yukiko commented on how dedicatedly they were revising (which was a statement in itself, as she was doing a freaking _double major_ while working at the Amagi Inn). Ever since Yu moved into Inaba, Yosuke’s study habits had cleaned up considerably. It was just a small fraction of how much influence Yu had on him.

Even with all that had changed over the years, it was still Inaba. It was still the same old town Yosuke had grown up in, the same town where he had met Yu. Yosuke sighed as he thought back to that first day, to the stupid teenager he had been. He was still a dumb-ass, but at least he didn’t tip over into trash cans anymore… Now he was surrounded by people who loved him, people who he _cared about_ , while doing the things he loved.

Yosuke stared out of the window blankly, deep in thought. The icicles dangled gently at the top of the frame outside, shimmering softly in the grey light as Yosuke watched. What had he been doing? _Oh, that’s right,_ he remembered. _I was making hot chocolate for Yu._ He shook his head quickly, trying to clear off the fog in his brain. Shit, he hoped the drink wasn’t cold. Yosuke put his hand on the mug - still warm. _Good._ He didn’t want to give Yu cold chocolate. 

Yosuke had already made the pancakes, which were stacked evenly on the plate and piping hot. He was proud of them, even if they were a bit misshapen. He knew Yu wouldn’t mind. Yu always understood, and was always happy with Yosuke’s attempts at affection. He was so kind. He’d always kept his promises; he never abandoned Yosuke or stopped talking to him, even after he’d left for the city in his senior year after his exchange time ended. 

He just hoped Yu thought of him the same way. 

Yosuke accepted the fact that he had feelings for Yu a long time ago, but had never worked up the courage to admit it to him. It was dumb, but Yosuke was scared that’d he would leave after finding out...

He sighed again, shutting his eyes. _Okay,_ he thought. _You need to calm down, dude. Just do the same stuff you’ve always done._

Chie had told him he should just tell Yu already, and that Yu would never get mad at him over that. Yukiko had told her off for being so blunt, but had agreed with her girlfriend. Logically, he knew they were right, but it still sort of freaked him out to imagine it happening. What if he was disgusted? Yosuke didn’t want to see the look on his face if he found out. He’d had that experience already. He didn’t want to go through it a second time. 

All those thoughts (and more) rushed through Yosuke’s head as he put the plate of pancakes and mug on the tray. As Yosuke set the fork and knife down, he realized his hands were shaking. It was so _stupid_. God. This was about Yu, not him. 

Yosuke lifted the tray carefully, his knuckles white as he gripped the sides. He wobbled a bit, but took a deep breath before straightening up. One step in front of the other, right? Yukiko had told him ways to deal with this sort of stuff - how to calm his nerves, how to keep the thoughts from overwhelming him. Now he was especially grateful for her advice…

Yu was his partner, his best friend. There was nothing they wouldn’t face together. It was impossible to break that connection. _They were inseparable,_ he thought as he carried the tray to their room.

Yosuke gently opened the door, taking care to not let it squeak loudly and wake Yu up. The room was silent and peaceful, bathed in the gray morning light filtering through the curtains. Nothing moved. Yosuke’s eyes moved to where Yu lay. 

Yosuke gazed fondly at him as he set the tray on the counter next to the bed quietly. Yu was still out cold, silver strands of hair draped over his shut eyes. His breathing was slow and deep - the only sound in the room apart from Yosuke’s pounding heart. 

_This was so fucking gay._

Yosuke sat down on his side of the bed, and leaned over to Yu. Yosuke hovered his hand over Yu’s side, unsure of whether or not to shake him awake. He looked so calm, mouth slightly open in his slumber.

Blushing heavily, Yosuke decided against it, and instead whispered in a shaky voice, “Hey, Yu. Wake up.” 

Yu mumbled, turning over. He was still asleep, Yosuke thought amusedly.

“Hey, partner. C’mon.” 

“Hmrrghrgnghhh…” Yu groaned, pushing the pillow over his head. “Give me a second…”

“I can’t, it might get cold,” Yosuke said, and he felt a bit bad now because Yu had been so tired the night prior.

“Hmmngh, okay.” Yu sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes. “Wait, what?” 

“Um…” Yosuke flushed, ears burning. Yu looked quizzically at him, waiting for him to explain.

“ _Justtakethis!”_ Yosuke spoke quickly as he placed the tray down in front of Yu. Yu blinked in surprise as he lifted his hands to take the tray.

“Did you make this?” He asked quietly. Yosuke nodded in response as he hoped to dear God that Yu wasn’t disappointed.

“Yeah, I did.”

Yu smiled at this, his expression warm enough to thaw the snow outside. “Thank you,” Yu said as he sipped the hot chocolate. 

Yosuke sat nervously as Yu started to eat the pancakes. _Is it good?_

Yu’s eyes widened mid-chew, and exclaimed. “It’s delicious!” 

Yosuke let out a breath he didn’t even know he’d been holding. “Oh, thank god.”

Yu’s throat bobbed as he swallowed the last bite _(_ _Damn, this guy ate a lot!_ _)_ and set down the utensils. “This was perfect.” 

Yosuke felt breathless. _Yu had liked it. He had liked it!_

“Hey, partner.” Yu’s head popped back up as Yosuke addressed him, face questioning. “I, uh… Never mind. Do you wanna go outside and build a snowman?” 

“Sure, just let me change,” Yu answered, yawning. Yosuke’s face started to flush all over again, and he turned away from Yu immediately. 

“Okay, meet me outside, partner.” He mumbled, cheeks heated as he exited the room. _Why was this so weird?_

******

Yosuke ran one hand through his hair after he was finally outside, leaning against the wall of the building. It was a snow day, so no classes. The air was frigid and icy, the wind blasting against Yosuke’s face. He squinted in the sharp cold as he stared off into the distance. Good thing he got a knitted scarf from Kanji. 

“Hey, partner!” Yu greeted him, slapping a hand on his shoulder. Yu seemed to be in good spirits, which made Yosuke feel fuzzy inside. _Had I done that?_

“Good morning,” Yosuke responded. “Are you ready to make this kick-ass snowman?”

“You bet.” Yu chuckled.

******

A few minutes after finishing the snowman, Yosuke noticed that Yu’s nose was flushed pink because of the cold and his neck was exposed. 

“Hang on, partner,” Yosuke said. Yu straightened up, turning his head over to Yosuke.

“Lift your chin,” Yosuke muttered as he took off the orange scarf and wrapped it around Yu’s neck. 

Yu didn’t say anything, but… Yosuke thought his face was a bit redder. Was he too cold?

“Um… Thanks.” Yu pulled the scarf over his nose and looked away quickly. 

They stood in silence, the snow falling like little crystals onto the ground. Yu had his hands in the pockets of his black puffer-jacket, and Yosuke’s in his own. 

Yosuke was acutely aware of how weird the atmosphere between them had gotten, and so was staring at the snowman hard enough to burn holes in it. He knew Yu was naturally quiet, but something felt different.

“Yosuke.” Yu broke the metaphorical ice as he kicked the gathering snow off his boots. “I can’t take it anymore,”

“I need to ask you something.” 

The sky hung over them like a tablecloth, full and heavy. They were alone together in the courtyard, concrete on concrete. 

“Yeah?” Yosuke choked out, trying his best to sound lighthearted.

“Are you keeping something from me?” Yu asked, his eyebrows furrowed in an expression of worry. 

_Oh._

“Uh…” Yosuke said eloquently. 

“It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me, but I can tell something’s on your mind. You can tell me anything; I’m your partner, after all.” 

“It’s embarrassing.” Yosuke bit his lip and hoped Yu didn’t press further (but for some reason, also hoped he would). 

“I’ll understand,” Yu responded simply, shrugging. “Even if it’s hard to bring up, it’s clear you’ve been having this on your mind a while. I want to help.”

 _He definitely knows._ Yosuke mustered up all the courage he had left, and prepared to confess.

“Look, partner. It’s okay if you don’t want to talk to me anymore after this,” Yosuke started (the second part was a lie - he needed Yu, but he didn’t want to pressure him). “I _have_ had this on my mind for a while.”

Yu waited expectantly, head tilted to the side, obviously confused. He couldn’t understand what Yosuke could say that would make Yu want to stop talking to him.

“I like you. I mean, _like_ like. Like, in a different way.” Yosuke babbled, fiddling with his jacket’s zipper as he looked everywhere but Yu’s face. “It’s _weird_ of me, I know, but I can’t fix it.” 

“It isn’t weird.” Yu said. Yosuke looked up, surprised. “It’s normal.” 

He didn’t seem all that shocked, Yosuke realized. Yu’s expression had changed only slightly, in the fact that his face was unmistakably more flushed. 

“I like you too. I have for a long time.” 

Yosuke reeled back - that was _not_ what he was expecting. The distance between them that had felt so far just moments before, now felt almost uncomfortably close. Like he was trapped in a bubble with only Yu, inescapable.

“You… I’m gonna need some time.” Yosuke felt nauseous. He was supposed to be overjoyed that it was reciprocated, right? _Why do I feel like this?_

Yu seemed a bit wounded - his mouth twisted sharply, but he immediately flattened it out to his neutral face. He didn’t say anything.

“Wait, it’s not that I… Argh, dude!” Yosuke exclaimed, running both his hands through his hair. “I don’t know what this means!”

Yu just stood there for a moment, but instead of responding, he leaned in and hugged Yosuke. Yosuke didn’t know what to say, but after a few seconds, he slowly wrapped his arms around Yu’s back, gloved hands clutching Yu’s jacket.

He smelled like vanilla.

“I’m sorry,” Yosuke tried to apologize, hoping Yu would understand what he meant, that he didn’t hate his best friend for returning his feelings.

“It’s okay.” Yu said.

They stood together in the cold for a long time. 

**Author's Note:**

> as always... give a kudos/comment if you enjoyed it - i appreciate the response ^_^/


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